Darkscan

Signs of an Abused or Neglected Child

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CAUTION SIGNS

A maltreated child may feel guilt, shame, or confusion. The child may not tell anyone, especially if the abuser is a member or friend of the family. Older children are better at masking problems. The “WASTE” acronym is like an amber traffic light: proceed with caution if you see any of these signs. Yet children vary, and may have these signs for other reasons.

·     Withdrawal

o  Withdrawal from friends or usual activities

o  Frequent absences from school

·     Anger

o  Behavioral changes, such as anger, hostility, aggression, or hyperactivity

o  Rebellious or defiant behavior

·     Sadness / Anxiety

o  Depression, anxiety or unusual fears

o  Marked loss of self-confidence

o  Marked downturn in school performance

·     Tragedy

o  Self-harm

o  Attempts at suicide

·     Escape (from home or reality)

o  Reluctance to leave school activities, as if he or she doesn't want to go home

o  Attempts at running away

o  A seeming lack of supervision

o  Substance abuse

RED FLAGS

More serious signs are below, but with caveats. (1) The effects do not always signify abuse. (2) Different abuse types often occur in a combination. (3) Every case is different, so the signs are not check boxes. A child may have been abused in a certain way, yet lack certain indicators. (4) There is overlap with the list above. (5) These lists contain common effects, NOT all effects.

For Abuse Generally:

·     Medical Effects: (a) premature death; (b) physical disabilities; (c) learning disabilities; (d) substance abuse; (e) diseases of heart, lungs, immune system, or cancer.

·     Behavioral Effects: (a) delinquent or violent; (b) abusing others; (c) withdrawal; (d) suicide attempts or self-injury; (e) high-risk sexuality or teen pregnancy; (f) academic problems or dropping out; (g) limited social and relationship skills; (h) difficulty working or keeping a job.

·     Emotional Effects: (a) low self-worth; (b) difficulty forming or maintaining relationships; (c) challenges with intimacy & trust; (d) unhealthy perspective on parenthood; (e) acceptance of violence as normal in relationships; (f) inability to cope with stress or frustration.

·     Psychological Effects: (a) eating disorders; (b) personality disorders; (c) behavior disorders; (d) anxiety disorders; (e) post-traumatic stress disorders (PTSD); (f) sleep disorders; (g) attachment disorders; (h) depression.

Physical Abuse:  punching, beating, kicking, biting, shaking, throwing, stabbing, choking, hitting, burning, etc. BUT, physical discipline by a parent or legal guardian must be: (a) reasonable in manner, (b) moderate in degree, & (c) not otherwise cruel.  [34 U.S.C. § 20341(c)(8)] 

·        Physical Signs of Abuse

o   Unexplained or frequent injuries: bruises, burns, cuts, bites, black eyes, or bone fractures (especially for a child under age 4).

o   Oddly explained injuries – where the injury doesn't match the explanation

o   Self-evident abuse – such as marks in the shape of: (a) hands or fingers; (b) an object; (c) ligatures (bindings) around wrists or ankles; (d) a gag; (e) glove or sock pattern, on scalded hands or feet; or (f) cigarette burns anywhere.

o   Defensive injuries on the backs of hands and arms.

o   Concealed injuries: fading bruises after an absence from school, or long sleeves in warm weather, or frequent complaints of pain (may be due to internal injuries), etc.

o   Lack of reaction to pain.

·        Behaviors

o   Hypervigilance (as a PTSD stress response, that may even interfere with learning ability).

o   Fear of returning home or seeing parents, family, or others who know the child.

o   Passive, withdrawn, or emotionless behavior.

o   – OR – Hostility: aggression; defiance; self- or other-destructiveness; poor social skills.

Sexual Abuse: Some sexual abusers use force; others coax, seduce, or persuade; yet it is always illegal and the child is never at fault. Examples are: fondling, lewd and lascivious behavior, intercourse, sodomy, oral copulation, even slight penetration of genitals or anus, child porn, child prostitution, etc. Use of a child for porn, prostitution or trafficking is sexual exploitation.

·     Physical Signs

o  Pregnancy, especially for a female child under age 14

o  Sexually transmitted disease, especially for a child under age 14

o  Bloody underwear

o  Urination: wetting pants, and/or pain

o  Difficulty walking or sitting

o  Frequent vomiting

·        Actions and Statements

o  Sudden changes: behavior; school performance; appetite

o  Refusal to change for gym or to do physical activities

o  Advanced sexual behavior / knowledge / interest, vs. the child's age

o  Inappropriate sexual contact / displays of affection with other children

o  Statements that he or she was sexually abused

·     Fearful Behavior

o  Over-compliance

o  Sudden changes: nightmares; bed-wetting

o  Extreme fear of being alone with adults, especially adults of a particular gender

Emotional abuse:  Examples: (1) constant blaming, berating, belittling; (2) unpredictable responses; (3) unreasonable demands; (4) withholding affection, attention, &/or approval. It is often hard to recognize that a child has been emotionally abused, due to lack of physical evidence. There may be manifest neurological damage (PTSD, learning disabilities, etc.).  

·     Behavioral Extremes

o  Overly: compliant/passive or demanding/aggressive

o  Inappropriately: adult-like (as in, parenting other children) OR infantile (repetitive: rocking, head-banging, sucking, biting, etc.)

o  Suicide attempt

·     Low Self-Worth

o  Marked drop in self-confidence or self-esteem or interests or enthusiasms

o  Attention-seeking: desperate for affection; OR may act out to seek attention

o  Fearful of not doing things exactly correctly.

o  Depression or withdrawal or apathy: adopts parent view of being worthless and no-good.

o  Speech, sleep, or eating disorders

·     Developmental Setbacks

o  At school: a marked drop in performance or a loss of interest

o  Avoidance: such as refusing to go to school or ride the bus

o  As to home: reports a lack of attachment to the parent of concern

Neglect:  

This concerns basics: (1)good  physical environment (shelter, safety); (2) sustainable health (nutrition, sleep, hygiene, medical care); and (3) proper interactions (supervision, socialization).

·     Food Issues

o  Poor growth or weight gain; or (the opposite) being overweight

o  Steals (or begs for) food or money

o  Hiding food, to eat later

·     Other Unmet Needs

o  Clothing: dirty, torn, poorly fitting, or inadequate for the weather

o  Lack of adequate medical, dental, optical, or psychological care

·     Supervision Issues

o  Poor hygiene; severe body odor

o  Frequent tardiness or truancy

o  Obvious sleepiness / fatigue / listlessness

o  Substance abuse

o  Lack of a caregiver at home. Victims respond to this in different ways, reflecting their personalities: (a) feeling lost; (b) seizing premature independence; or (c) becoming “parentified” and trying to meet the needs of another child in the home.

Parental warning signs:

·     Harshness

o  Harsh physical punishment

o  Persistently hypercritical, and may feel the child has no value at all

o  Makes unrealistic demands for physical or academic performance

o  Severely restricts the child's contact with others

o  Blames the child for problems

o  (May have been abused themselves as a child, or have stress or other risk factors)

·     Indifference

o  Shows little concern for the child

o  Acts depressed or apathetic or irrational

o  Abuses substance(s)

o  Does not seem to recognize the child’s physical or emotional distress.

·     Jealousy

o  Expects the child to satisfy their emotional needs, not the other way around.

·     Denial

o  Denies that there is a problem and/or is secretive

o  Gives inconsistent or unconvincing (or no) explanations for a child's injuries

·     Interactions with Child

o  Persistent mutual dislike / loathing

o  They rarely touch or look at each other

For more information on signs of child abuse and neglect, see:

Anonymous, “Child Abuse,” (Mayo Clinic, 10/5/2018), posted at https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/child-abuse/symptoms-causes/syc-20370864

Anonymous, “Recognizing Child Abuse and Neglect,” (U.S. federal Child Welfare Information Gateway, June 2007), at https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubPDFs/signs.pdf

Anonymous, “When You Suspect Child Abuse or Neglect,” (Department of Justice, Federal Bureau of Investigation, undated), accessed 5/18/2020; posted at https://ucr.fbi.gov/stats-services/victim_assistance/brochures-handouts/when-you-suspect-child-abuse-or-neglect